Hey you.

It's been a really long time since I have written you. I still think about you a lot but I guess I have been moving on.

It strikes hard tonight that you haven't.

There is so much you are missing but what really saddens me is how much I miss sharing it with you.

I finally got angry with you. It took fucking forever to do it but I finally got mad at the choices you made. The choices that led me here, to a blog, writing to the memory of you. I want to smack the shit out of you when I think about it but the anger dies pretty quickly, how can you smack the shit out of the dead?

What makes me the most angry is that your death changed the way I see the world. I simply don't fit back into the person I was before you died. I have always held a childish and egocentric belief that the bad things only happened far outside my personal sphere of influence. Your death made me grow up right quick.

I am now a much more cynical person.

If you happen to be conscious at all, in any way, know that I still love you.