Hey you.

It's been four months since you died, and the world has completely changed. My son is three months old, my daughter is almost 6 years old, and your friends and family are creating a foundation for children in your name.

How I wish you were here to serve on the committee.

This morning I was nursing Oliver and the sun was streaming in the window. I was warm and the house was quiet. I remembered the swearing in ceremony and the feeling of sharing that day with you. I remembered the hug we shared right after we became lawyers for the first time.

I found if I closed my eyes I could hold onto that feeling, and I could almost hug you again. Sadly, I had to open my eyes eventually.

Marlena had her birthday party. You would have loved it. We went to a splash park here in Jersey and played in the water. I think you would have had a great time running around with her. She misses you, every now and then she mentions you, but time is starting to soften her memories, and she no longer cries whenever she hears your name.

I am getting better too. I can think of you without crying, most of the time. I still feel the loss though. There are so many thoughts I want to share with you. It amazes me still how quickly you became my closest friend. I guess the bar exam really does bring people together.

In your next life, would you take up jogging instead of swimming? My future self would like more time with you than I got to have.

Hope wherever you are has Law & Order reruns and a really good law library.

Love you.